Movement

On my way to the Linguistics building multiple times a week, I cross a path over a small stagnant stream (it probably has a name unbeknownst to be). It's surrounded by tall old growth trees and an abundance of foliage but it looks absolute dead! The murky, unmoving water shaded by a canopy of trees provides no life. I've never seen a duck anywhere near it, nor any squirrels coming up to it for a refreshing splash (do they even do that??).  The so-called-stream is merely a pit of water fostering growth of algae, fungi, and other gross substances. Dark. Rank. Lifeless. 


Earlier this year I was struck by fear, What if that's me? Do I appear dead in my faith to others? Have I become a complacent, unmoving, stagnant Christian so far away from the head water supply that I simply sit in the shade and sulk? God, don't let this be me!


Now, I don't often walk on this path when in bad weather (I take the paved way and stop for a coffee of course), but one day I was running late and needed to use the short-cut. As I carefully made my way down the hill toward the stream I suddenly stopped, remembering my recent comparison of this stream to a stagnant Christian. Today the water was different; I noticed movement! The soft splashing of raindrops from above vibrantly shot countless ripples throughout the water. It was alive, moving, and beautiful even on the rainy day. In fact,  it needed an overhead source of water for the stagnant stream to move!


I'm not always a fan of rain, but today it was lovely! Then I was struck again, When I am stagnant, God sometimes uses painful processes to refresh me. Sunshine is nice, but rain causes movement. 


God has often used uncomfortable and even painful circumstances in my life to re-ignite my heart for Him, similar to the rain bringing movement to the stagnant water (alright, it's not the best analogy... but it kinda works, right?) So embrace the rain- and find refreshment in our Lord's faithfulness.

Accept love

Today I have been overwhelmed by the immense amount of love poured out on me! My family and friends have gone above and beyond to make my 20th birthday a special day =). 


In the midst of all the attention, of which I'm not a fan, I've found myself almost discouraged and saddened... so weird, right??  I couldn't explain it for the longest time, but something finally clicked. God just reminded me of something very important: it's okay to accept love! The fact that I feel undeserving of the love doesn't discount its reality. Also, refusing to accept love (fully) is not an act of humility but an offensive gesture toward the one striving to show love! 


So many times I've even pushed away God's love with the misconstrued notion that I'm doing the right thing and living humbly by not accepting it. Or I'll "accept" it but continue in a heretical mindset of seeking to prove my worth by performing good deeds, acts of service... anything to prove to myself and others that I deserve to be loved. But I don't. And that doesn't even matter!!!! GOD IS LOVE; he loves me for who HE IS, not for what I have done. 
(this reminds me of one of my currently favorite songs by JJ Heller: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgGUKWiw7Wk)


One of my favorite passages to share with others at the end of cards, emails, or random notes is Ephesians 3:17-19: "... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." How often do I let that verse sink into my soul, especially when it's paralleled to 1 John 4:8, "God is love"? 


Do I deserve God's love? Absolutely not
Should this prevent me from accepting His love? Absolutely not


We can humbly, boldly, and unashamedly accept the love of God (and others), not as a means to appeal to our personal feelings, but as a declaration of His perfect character, ultimately bringing Him glory. 

Bear fruit: love

"This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples" John 15:8


As Christians, we're called to live like Christ, to love others, to bear fruit... but we don't... at least not always. A girl in one of my classes today very boldy proclaimed she is not a Christian (I'm not sure why she's paying so much money to come to a Christian school), and criticized the students for not trying to convert her. She said many students know she's not a Christian, but hardly anyone has shared the Gospel with her! To her, Christians are apathetic "do-gooders" who focus too much on personally growing closer to Christ and not enough about reaching out to others. This was a bit offensive at first, and class' first response (along with mine) was to defend ourselves, giving examples of how we do participate in social justice and local outreach. However, I had to stop and ask myself if I really do care about seeing other meet Jesus. If so, why am I afraid to "rock the boat" and share my faith???


Yes, I'm afraid of sounding foolish, looking silly, losing friends... but I'm mostly afraid of leaving a bad taste of Christianity in someone's mouth or falsely representing the Gospel. Um, excuse me, Kristina, but can't God work past that? Do you really think he can only use perfectly articulate and spiritually mature people? Think again!


So, we're clearly called to "bear fruit," but what does that exactly look like? It doesn't necessarily mean "convert X number of people" (think of Jesus' words in John 4:37, "one sows and another reaps"), but perhaps it simply means that we should love others. Okay, well, I'm pretty sure he means this considering he says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you" in verse 12 of chapter 15 =). I'm not exactly sure how this love translates into visible fruit, but then again, we don't always get to see the fruits of our labor....


I'm encouraged, though, that love is part of the Fruit of the SPIRIT! So.... it can't be up to us to force love out of us! Let's just cling to Christ, claim the power of His Spirit, and humbly move forward in Him. God puts us in situations (i.e. going to school with people who don't know Him!) where we need only to open our eyes and see people as God sees them. With the Holy Spirit living in us, we can't help but bear fruit: love.

Be Dependent on God.

"Chances are if you place yourself in the River, you'll consistently get wet"- LM


Such a seemingly obvious statement, yet, we sometimes live counter to this. This week at the River, LM challenged us to ask ourselves if we're living out what it means to be dependent on God. Jeremiah 17:7-8, John 15, and (I forgot the other passage) present analogies of trees/vines to describe what it means live out dependency on Christ. If we're rooted in Him, or if we "remain in Him" (John 15), we will be fully equipped to face the stress of school, family, finances, relationships, work....


So how do we do this? How do we practically live out dependency? How do we put ourselves in a place to get wet?


TALK. We talk to our friends all the time! Why is this different with God? Do we forget he knows our innermost being, our every excitement, concern, doubt, and fear? Just talk to him- at all times, in all places, about all things. Well, duh! But I've been challenged to ask myself if I really live life talking to God constantly. As 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I don't talk because I'm afraid of admitting I need help, I'm embarrassed for what I've done, or I'm consumed with the distractions around me. God can handle all of that, and He wants me to talk with Him.

LISTEN. If we don't set aside time to listen, how will grow? How many friendships do you have where you feel like the other person never listens to you? Are you really friends then? Why not listen to God's voice- we'll hear it, as Jesus said, "my sheep hear my voice" (John 10:27). I know God has a plan for me, but for some reason I still try and do it all on my own! 
Navel gazing.... one of my teachers in high school referred to the negative, self-centered, all-consuming focus on difficulties you're facing right at this moment as navel gazing. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Cor. 4:18). If we would only get our eyes off of ourselves for two seconds and fixed back on Christ, our perspective would change. The situation might not, but we will be able to move forward with our eyes fixed on Jesus, ready to hear his voice. 

GO. God doesn't call us to a life of stagnant complacency. He calls us into action saying, “whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) Denying ourselves, not living for ourselves; taking up our cross, not expecting life to be easy; and following him, not trying to find the way on our own. This verse is a call to move forward humbly, depending on God completely for sustenance, comfort, and direction. We know we can trust Him, so why don't we just go with him? He'll lead us into the river, into deep relationship with Him.


Today, I want to sit at Jesus' feet talking to Him and listening to his voice. Then I want to go wherever he leads me- living fully dependent on Him. Let's go.

Just do it.

"One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” (Luke 5:1-5)

I'm sure my parents wished they would have read this verse to be when I was younger! So many times I've asked "Why? Why? Why?" and the response I've heard has been, "Because I say so!" Haha I'm sure I've even used this line a few times while babysitting =) Goodness! Why isn't a command from an authority figure with my best interests in mind enough to cause me (dare I say "us") to obey?? But still... how many times have I questioned my parents' directions? Or my teachers'? Or God's??

I appreciate this verse because although Simon (Peter) protests a bit, he does follow his grumbling with a declaration of Christ's authority. Perhaps his attitude isn't ideal, but he still obeys. Sometimes what God prompts us to do doesn't make sense, sometimes it even seems foolish! You really want me to go encourage her? Are you sure I'm suppose to sacrifice my time or this?? Wait- you can't possibly want me to pray for them, can you?? But he does. And that's reason enough to obey.

Choosing Joy.

So, I'm not really much of a blogger, but I do enjoy blabbing on for few paragraphs every once in a while! As I use this blog to reflect on what God is teaching me, it will likely serve more as an encouragement to me than those who read it, but perhaps it will uplift or challenge someone else too! Anyway, I invite you (whoever ends up reading this) to join me in my pursuit of Christ. Together "... let us throw off everything that hinders... and run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Heb 12: 1)

Recently, God has also been teaching me about the beauty of prayer, specifically with the idea of praying "through" circumstances rather than "against" them, in some cases. Now, I don't really know if this distinction is hugely important, but I think there's something there...As I often focus on praying "against" things I personally don't want to happen (which is not necessarily wrong, especially in the case of spiritual warfare), God's been challenging me to trust Him completely and pray "through" situations, knowing that He will be the one to carry me through. It kind of goes along with the idea of "choosing joy," which He's constantly challenging me to do! Rather than thinking, "if only I can just make it until Friday/Spring Break/Summer/post-university... and then I'll have joy..." why not choose joy now? 

Well, is joy really a choice?

Yes, and No...

Joy is clearly an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22), so it's tempting to answer with "no." But, I think we first need to answer the question, is living by the Holy Spirit a choice? 

When Paul is discussing the Holy Spirit in Romans 8, he says, "you, however, are not controlled by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you" (vs 9). This would indicate the Holy Spirit has control over a person once he commits to following Jesus and received empowerment from the Holy Spirit, thus seemingly answering the question is living by the Spirit a choice with "no." However, we all know how important context is; we must look at the rest of the Romans 8 passage! 

As we continue reading, we see Paul has set up a couple different scenarios: you either live according to the sinful nature or live according to what the Spirit desires (vs 5). Later in verse 12, Paul explicitly address Christians and says, "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live..." which (with the use of "if") implies a choice. The author of Hebrews also seems to indicate living in accordance with the Spirit is a choice when he says, "let us throw of everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles..." (12:1). Jesus also urges one to "deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23), again implying an active decision must me made (a choice!). 

So, after looking at these verses, it sounds like as a follower if Jesus, I have the choice to allow His Spirit complete control of my life or not, answering the first question (is living by the Holy Spirit a choice?) "yes." If we apply this answer a step further in regards to joy, again I believe joy is a choice. Because God allows us to choose whether or not we walk by the Spirit, why wouldn't he allow us to choose whether we allow the Holy Spirit to pour out of us or not? Now, I'm not saying that all of the sudden everything will be peachy just because we're walking by the Spirit and choosing joy. Things can be rough, but we can rest knowing God is near.

This idea leads me to one of my favorite verses- Psalm 46:10 ("be still and know that I am God"). Now, I’ve always heard this verse and have pictured myself sitting my a placid stream, surrounded by sunshine and daisies, with a light breeze swirling around my flowing locks of hair. However, this is most certainly not the context of the verse! It actually occurs right in the middle of the Psalmist describing intense events such as mountains falling, waters raging, and nations in uproar... not serene landscape and moments of peace. Furthermore, it is in these times we can be still and KNOW God is God and He will be exalted. I can’t think of anything that brings me more joy than knowing God and reflecting on who he is and how much he loves me- and this choice can be made even in the most tumultuous situations!

So today, I choose joy. Not happiness, prosperity, comfort... but joy: pure delight in the character of my Lord!