Step by Step.

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path..." Psalm 119:105

Time and time again I've been faced with the tendency to map out a long-term journey of my life, a step by step plan unfolding a detailed depiction of how I want my years on earth to be spent. From which college to attend and which degree to obtain, to what location "to settle down in" and at what age to get married, I've attempted to answer almost every life question pre-maturely in order to have a perfect little picture of what my life will look like. 

The problem is, my life doesn't look like "that."

The world tells us we need to have a destination in mind and then figure out the appropriate steps to reach it... Questions like, "where do you see yourself in five years?" and "what are your short term and long term goals" pervade our minds and manipulate our agendas in ways reflecting an innate desire for control. We think that if we can calculate strategically enough and plan far enough in advance, our lives will unfold precisely as we see fit. And when curve balls do fly towards us, we quickly dodge them and try to re-plan, re-focus, re-organize... We go back to the drawing board and map out yet another set of ideals (or this could just be me, but I'll use a plural subject so I feel less ridiculous haha)

Now, don't get me wrong, I think goals are fantastic! There's nothing inherently wrong with being focused, determined, or driven. Even Paul writes in Philippians 3:14, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus..." which suggests a highly positive connotation in regards to goal-setting! However, we can't forget to notice the nature of Paul's goal-setting in comparison to ours. Let's back up a bit...

In verses 7-10, Paul beautifully articulates the only goal that matters- knowing Christ. He writes, "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..."

Paul's goal is complete self-abandonment, utter surrender... his goal is Christ. 

It is in this context of striving to know his Lord that Paul can unrelentingly press towards what lies ahead... he does not divulge a detailed missionary-map of upcoming endeavors nor a specified proposal of how many letters he'll compose in his lifetime. He simply longs for a deep, intimate relationship with his Lord.

Recently I've been faced with many questions about my future, and I honestly just don't have the answers. What are my specific goals for my career? When/Where will I go back to school? Will I even go back to school? I try and picture where I see myself in five years, and I could literally see myself almost anywhere! Does that mean I'm "directionless"??

No, not necessarily... as I was chatting with a friend tonight we were reflecting on the excitement of seeing only the tiny step in front of us. There are definitely elements of frustration, uncertainty, confusion... but it really is thrilling to embrace the unknown as a new adventure, a new opportunity to completely depend on God. In Psalm 119:105, God promises he will give a lamp (singular) to our feet and a light (what do ya know... singular again) for our path, not a series of little lamps and lights neatly revealing the journey far beyond our present. He promises to illuminate the dimly-lit path as we press into Him...one step at a time.