"Why Not?"

During my time in China, I repeatedly heard the question, "why not?" from the director of the organization and my counterpart Chinese teacher. Nearly every time I heard one of them utter these words, their voices were full of optimism and hope. As we discussed various ideas with each another (ranging from where to go for dinner to what activity to do with the students), my 2 dear coworkers would frequently reply, “Why not?” and plans would be made to implement the suggestion. I was struck with their eagerness to improve, willingness to try new things, and hopeful expectation that a positive outcome would arise. (Clarification: this was not the answer in response to insanely outlandish ideas. They were not foolishly or naively willing to try anything out of the blue! Rather, they were refreshingly optimistic in contrast to my somewhat-skeptical and overly-analytical thoughtful evaluations of ideas and decisions).

Now, I don’t think I'm frequently labeled as a pessimist person… but the repetition of the “why not” question ringing with undertones of hopeful optimism stood out to me in a way that caused me to question the reason for its absence from my day-to-day thoughts and conversations. So often I end up trying to convince myself to do something by listing off positive results of the decision. This isn’t wrong to do (in fact, it can demonstrate wise decision-making and critical thinking), but it also implies an initial question of “why?” which is often rooted in doubt, uncertainty, skepticism and even pessimism.

Furthermore, the “why not? response of my coworkers in China frequently arose out of true respect and consideration of the person sharing an idea. For instance, whenever I posed a schedule question, such as, “would you mind if I switched the morning activity with the afternoon activity?” the “why not?” response I received from the director was based on an attitude of respect and confidence in my decision-making. The director didn’t ask me to provide a rationale for my idea; he expected me to have exercised discernment prior to asking him and trusted me to competently carry out my idea. There were times I would begin to share reasons behind my ideas in schedule changes (likely as a subconscious attempt to prove my capabilities, which is an entirely other downfall to work through haha), and the director would graciously cut me off in order to approve my idea based on his respect and confidence in me. He trusted me to do my job well because that’s what he had asked me to do. There wasn’t nagging doubt in his mind (at least, not that I could see!) nor a prove-it mentality in which I often find myself trapped. He had hope.

As  I thought about minimal presence of the hopeful “why not?” in my own thoughts, I was hit with the realization that the foundation for me asking “why?” instead of “why not?” is frequently rooted in pride.  (Surprise, surprise… another conviction of pride!) More often than not, I wind up thinking (dare I say subconsciously) that others are inferior to me and must “prove” that their opinions, ideas, needs…  merit my time and energy.

Why should I take the time to help you?

How can you convince me you have a good idea?

What have you done to deserve my energy?

What are the reasons you can give me that prove your opinion is worth consideration?

On more than one occasion I’ve either directly or indirectly demanded that someone else persuade me to help, listen to, or even tolerate them… all the while maintaining a presupposition in my heart that I am superior to them in some way.

Yikes. That looks terrible when I actually read it back to myself! Deep breath. Sadly, it’s true. I'll confess it again… often, I ask “why?” because I see others as inferior to me and require them to prove themselves worthy. Ugh! May it not be so.

Pause for a second… I’m not making a claim that every time I ask “why?” (or when anyone asks “why?” for that matter) the foundation lies on pride. “Why?” is not a bad question! Statements and opinions should be justified, and justification should be given. Sometimes, “why?” must be asked to elicit justification, and other times justification is presented without being a direct response to “why?” (Like now, for example… I’m basically providing justification for my thoughts- an explanation of why they should be validated and a reason divulging why I think they are true). Simply, I'm attempting to recognize the beauty I see rooted in the contrasting question "why not?" that I rarely find myself asking.

When thoughts, opinions, ideas, suggestions, etc. are shared by others… why not ask, "why not?" It's quite fun, actually! I love how the question conveys a sense of childlike faith and innocent optimism. Just saying it awakens a feeling of hopeful excitement and eagerness to see something great unfold!

* Why not allow Christ to strip away my prideful tendency toward skeptical questioning?

* Why not eagerly search for positive elements of others' thoughts rather than fixating on the negative aspects?

* Why not identify strengths of others and confidently expect them to be demonstrated instead of ignoring them? 

* Why not respect others enough to invest in their thoughts and ideas in place of demanding people to pursue me they deserve my time?

* Why not let my initial response to requests and suggestions of others be saturated with humility, grace, and hope instead of being tainted with cynicism and doubt?

Why not ask, "why not?"

Initial Reflections Following 2 Weeks in China

After 2 weeks in Guangzhou, China (one of the provinces in the Southeast region), I'm attempting to settle back into the reality of living in North America and process the magnitude of the adventure I've been fortunate enough to experience. So many thoughts are jumbled in my head, and this post in only an attempt to sort them into a somewhat understandable summary. As the thoughts continue to surface as words, perhaps another post will come to fruition too. For now, this mere attempt will need to suffice…

So, what did I do in China? Well, for 10 days I taught leadership/English to 18 students (14-15 years old) for 8 hours a day in a stark classroom full of vibrancy and energy. Not a day passed that I neglected to see a new cultural practice, try amazing food, laugh with students, or learn more about myself, humanity, and our Creator. Seriously. I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have gone on this trip! The phrase, "it was great," will continue to define the trip, but never will it encapsulate the expanse of my enjoyment and appreciation of the experience. 

Now, the bigger question, for me at least- what did I learn? The culture I witnessed was beautiful. Here are a few attempts at expressing what I learned:

1. "Community" came to mean more to me, especially at dinner time. I've always enjoyed getting to know people through sharing a meal together, but rarely do I share meal times as I did in Guangzhou. At dinner every night, myself and several others gathered around a table with plates of food spread across the center. Now, this wasn't just "family style," where dishes were passed around and each person loaded up his own plate… Every person did have his own plate and bowl, but they were very small. The purpose of their size was seemingly twofold: to take small portions of everything and to make it easy for others to serve you as you passed them your small dish. I could hardly take a bite without someone seeing my bowl was getting empty and filling it with more food! The same went for the tea… after nearly every drink, it was filled by someone at the table. At first I thought this might be because I was a foreign guest, but they treated everyone this way! So much hospitality and servanthood! Everyone was looking out for each other and seeking to serve in a visible way.

2. Along the lines of community, I learned more about a "we" culture contrasting a "me" culture. One night I spent hours talking to a dear friend about valuing the group over the individual. She expressed the underlining goal of maintaining peace, stability, and placidity rather than being a unique individual with personal opinions. The good of the group supersedes the good of the individual. She said for a Chinese person, it's more desirable to be in the middle of the pack, to remain unnoticed, to keep the peace… uniqueness is not valued in the same ways it is in North America. And, as much as I believe God has created us as unique individuals to fulfill unique purposes for his glory, I think there's something to be said for valuing the "we" of a community, not solely the "me." Perhaps I'll write more about this later… my muddled thoughts are yet to be cleared entirely…

3. Communication is far more than spoken word. Well, that's obvious! But what I mean by that is we have the ability to understand others and express ourselves, even to be connected to others, without sharing the same spoken language. In some way, we share a heart language. Regardless of our Mother Tongue, every person on the earth has a desire to know love, to know truth, to have a meaningful life, to enjoy life, to be respected, and so on… and because of these inherent desires of humanity, we can relate to each other on a deep level without talking. Facial expressions, eye content, gestures, and posture became crucial for me to show my appreciation to different people I met when verbal communication was unattainable. The inability to talk with people verbally also challenged me to speak to their hearts. I couldn't ask them questions about themselves to make them feel valued and respected; instead, I had to posture myself graciously, initiate eye contact, and frequently smile in order to show others I took notice of them, cared for them, and appreciated what they were doing. Communication was more difficult, but it also took place on a deep level when speech was not a means nor a hindrance to expressing myself.

4. Finally (for now), I saw in another way how big God is. Did you catch that? God is BIG. Well, duh! But seriously. He is huge! I often experience the scope of God's magnitude when I look up at the stars… but I see it when I travel the world too. The God of the universe knows every single person on the planet. Every one who has lived was created by him… everyone who is living is being sustained by him… and everyone who will live will get their breath from him alone. Wow. That’s a lot of people. His knowledge stretches farther and wider than I can comprehend. How humbling!
But, he didn't just remind me of the far-reaching span of his size… he reminded me of the depth of his character too. He not only knows about everyone in the world, but he knows the depths of who we all are… the ins and outs of every person who has ever lived, is living, and is yet to live… and he extends his infinite love to each one as we are known by him. Furthermore, he created each of us as individuals to know him and love him in a deep and personal way. He invites us into fellowship with him out of the depths of who we are, into the depths of who he is. He knowledge and love doesn't just stretch across the planet, it plunges into the depths of every person created.

If you made it through the whole post of my poorly-sorted thoughts, I commend you! May these words serve not merely as a way to remember a fantastic adventure, but may they stir me to grow as I let truth penetrate my soul in a new way.