"Why Not?"

During my time in China, I repeatedly heard the question, "why not?" from the director of the organization and my counterpart Chinese teacher. Nearly every time I heard one of them utter these words, their voices were full of optimism and hope. As we discussed various ideas with each another (ranging from where to go for dinner to what activity to do with the students), my 2 dear coworkers would frequently reply, “Why not?” and plans would be made to implement the suggestion. I was struck with their eagerness to improve, willingness to try new things, and hopeful expectation that a positive outcome would arise. (Clarification: this was not the answer in response to insanely outlandish ideas. They were not foolishly or naively willing to try anything out of the blue! Rather, they were refreshingly optimistic in contrast to my somewhat-skeptical and overly-analytical thoughtful evaluations of ideas and decisions).

Now, I don’t think I'm frequently labeled as a pessimist person… but the repetition of the “why not” question ringing with undertones of hopeful optimism stood out to me in a way that caused me to question the reason for its absence from my day-to-day thoughts and conversations. So often I end up trying to convince myself to do something by listing off positive results of the decision. This isn’t wrong to do (in fact, it can demonstrate wise decision-making and critical thinking), but it also implies an initial question of “why?” which is often rooted in doubt, uncertainty, skepticism and even pessimism.

Furthermore, the “why not? response of my coworkers in China frequently arose out of true respect and consideration of the person sharing an idea. For instance, whenever I posed a schedule question, such as, “would you mind if I switched the morning activity with the afternoon activity?” the “why not?” response I received from the director was based on an attitude of respect and confidence in my decision-making. The director didn’t ask me to provide a rationale for my idea; he expected me to have exercised discernment prior to asking him and trusted me to competently carry out my idea. There were times I would begin to share reasons behind my ideas in schedule changes (likely as a subconscious attempt to prove my capabilities, which is an entirely other downfall to work through haha), and the director would graciously cut me off in order to approve my idea based on his respect and confidence in me. He trusted me to do my job well because that’s what he had asked me to do. There wasn’t nagging doubt in his mind (at least, not that I could see!) nor a prove-it mentality in which I often find myself trapped. He had hope.

As  I thought about minimal presence of the hopeful “why not?” in my own thoughts, I was hit with the realization that the foundation for me asking “why?” instead of “why not?” is frequently rooted in pride.  (Surprise, surprise… another conviction of pride!) More often than not, I wind up thinking (dare I say subconsciously) that others are inferior to me and must “prove” that their opinions, ideas, needs…  merit my time and energy.

Why should I take the time to help you?

How can you convince me you have a good idea?

What have you done to deserve my energy?

What are the reasons you can give me that prove your opinion is worth consideration?

On more than one occasion I’ve either directly or indirectly demanded that someone else persuade me to help, listen to, or even tolerate them… all the while maintaining a presupposition in my heart that I am superior to them in some way.

Yikes. That looks terrible when I actually read it back to myself! Deep breath. Sadly, it’s true. I'll confess it again… often, I ask “why?” because I see others as inferior to me and require them to prove themselves worthy. Ugh! May it not be so.

Pause for a second… I’m not making a claim that every time I ask “why?” (or when anyone asks “why?” for that matter) the foundation lies on pride. “Why?” is not a bad question! Statements and opinions should be justified, and justification should be given. Sometimes, “why?” must be asked to elicit justification, and other times justification is presented without being a direct response to “why?” (Like now, for example… I’m basically providing justification for my thoughts- an explanation of why they should be validated and a reason divulging why I think they are true). Simply, I'm attempting to recognize the beauty I see rooted in the contrasting question "why not?" that I rarely find myself asking.

When thoughts, opinions, ideas, suggestions, etc. are shared by others… why not ask, "why not?" It's quite fun, actually! I love how the question conveys a sense of childlike faith and innocent optimism. Just saying it awakens a feeling of hopeful excitement and eagerness to see something great unfold!

* Why not allow Christ to strip away my prideful tendency toward skeptical questioning?

* Why not eagerly search for positive elements of others' thoughts rather than fixating on the negative aspects?

* Why not identify strengths of others and confidently expect them to be demonstrated instead of ignoring them? 

* Why not respect others enough to invest in their thoughts and ideas in place of demanding people to pursue me they deserve my time?

* Why not let my initial response to requests and suggestions of others be saturated with humility, grace, and hope instead of being tainted with cynicism and doubt?

Why not ask, "why not?"