Less than twelve hours from now, and I'll be sitting in my first class of my 3rd year of University.... nope, I am not ready by any means! Do I even have my books? Of course not!!! (I've learned you really don't need them until the second week at least haha I just can't commit yet).
The excitement of a new school year brings me joy- being reunited with friends from previous years, having the chance to meet new people, anticipating the wealth of knowledge I'll be faced with (and the choice to cram it in my puny head or to try and actually grasp what I'm studying)... I am honestly looking forward to this year.
But along with the pleasant expectations, "the unknown" carries a looming burden of fear and uneasiness. I certainly don't feel mentally, emotionally, or even physically prepared for this year, but who ever does? (if you do or have in the past, be grateful). I just keep telling myself that I'll be fine once I get into a routine. At this point, there's no use fighting it- I better suck it up and embrace what's coming.
One of my biggest fears, though, is being stuck in the mindset of, "just make it through this [day, week, month, semester] and it'll be okay." I don't want to get caught living in the future! I want to enjoy each and every day as it comes- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to smile in the sunshine, laugh in the rain, and dance in the storms. I refuse to let frustrating situations steal my joy. There will always be something to complain about- a low ink cartridge and papers won't print, out of milk and no time to go to the store, a late assignment to shatter my GPA, sad news from people back home... things are gonna happen during these next few months that will tempt me to embrace discouragement and depression. So I better be prepared.
Am I nervous for this year? Absolutely. But I'm confident it's gonna be great. I know that I will come away as a changed person, and I'm excited to see what that looks like. My hope is resting not in who I am, but in my Lord alone. Therefore, I'm ready.
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