Warning Lights

Alright, I did it again... tears and cars seem to go hand it hand in my life! At least a police officer isn't involved this time...

I've had so many annoying warning lights come on in my car recently- "you need an oil change!" "low tire pressure," "yep- you're out of gas..." goodness it seems like there's always something wrong. Today as I was making my way toward the US border, the "low on gas" warning light came came on (for about the fifth time in the past week- when will I realize that 10 bucks here and there doesn't get me very far!) Anyway, I had been anticipating that light's appearance and was already headed to Washington to get gas. Luckily there was about a two second wait at the border, and I made it to the gas station in no time.

Another warning light has been on the past few days, though. Every time I turn my car on, it's been telling me to check the tire pressure... great! I haven't had time to deal with it until today. Not knowing where to go or what to do, I immediately call my dad. He suggests I start by looking at the tires, checking if any of them seem low (he's clearly the logical one in the family). Okay... any low-looking tires... um... nope! They all seem fine to me! He proceeds to tell me I should get the pressure checked somewhere, like a gas station... Luckily I'm right by one! It can't be too hard to check the tire pressure, right?

Wrong.

I'm such a girl. I don't have a clue what I'm doing... I'm letting air out of the tires, trying to attach some stupid nozzle thing, getting grease all over my hands from who knows where, having a miserable time, and just wanting someone to show me what the heck to do! Directions from my dad over the phone only go so far...

Then the tears come. Tears I've been holding back for weeks- tears filled with fear over my course load, missing people back home, anxiety about finances, doubt regarding my ability to stay sane over these next few months... all flooding out because of some low air pressure in my tires! I should know better than to bottle everything up... Yet I do it time and time again.

After regaining a tad bit of my composure, I headed back in to ask the gas station attendant for more quarters (reminder- I'm in stinkin Washington so there's no one outside to help me pump the gas or teach me how to check a tire haha lovely). The sweet lady behind the counter immediately senses my distress and follows me out to give it a go. She helps for a bit, and ends up pointing me to a Les Schwab right around the corner, right before giving me a big hug.

When I pull into Les Schwab, a droopy-eyed, grandpa-looking attendant comes to my rescue. He checks all 4 tires using some fancy tool (I'm told it's called a gauge) and adds air when necessary. Ten minutes later, I'm outta there! Headed back to Canada, back to school, back to stress.

Of course this whole incident got me thinking about several things. First of which, how I handle stress. I honestly have not felt "stressed" so far this semester until just recently. But I ignored the warning light when I sensed it coming... for some reason, I assume that if I say I'm okay over and over to a number of different people, I will be okay. For a while, maybe... but eventually something triggers the acknowledgement of stress's reality! By the time the fears are finally faced, their damages are way greater than they would have been if addressed earlier. I think it kinda goes back to the idea of recognizing emotions without labeling "good" or "bad;" I need to acknowledge when stress arrives rather than trying to convince myself the angst doesn't exist. Now, it's what I do afterwards that matters, perhaps even more than the acknowledgment.

When you're out of tire air pressure, you go to an appropriate place to get it filled, right? Mhmm. So when you're out of mental endurance and emotional stamina, where do you go to get it filled? Friends... Alcohol... Sex... Food... Drugs... Entertainment... Religion... Addictions... Sleep... the list goes on. Now, just think about it- the list goes on! We are always searching for something else to meet our needs, eliminate our exhaustion, and give us motivation for the day. But what actually works? If you put water into a tire, it's not gonna do much good (it might even damage it, but who am I to know all those details haha). Tires need air.

And people need rest. Not caffeine, not sleep, not a massive wake-up call... REST.

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus utters profoundly beautiful words... "come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry." The offer of peace, not the promise of an easy life, stands available. Yet I all too often try and carry the weight of the world alone. God invites us to come to him in relationship, not religion, and find rest. We won't be filled otherwise.