First Impressions

I've been thinking a lot about how I view others... I try not to be a judgemental person, but what does that mean anyway? Isn't it natural to make judgements (or to form opinions) based on a person's actions, words, body language, and so on? I mean, you can't really help but form an opinion, right? (good or bad) And how do first impressions relate to being judgemental? Are they as important as people make them out to be? How often has a first impression of someone you've met proven to be an accurate depiction of their true character? 

In my opinion, first impressions are important because they shape your bias. They don't completely shape your long-term definition of a person, but they certainly shape the way you view them from the get-go. Can first impressions change? Nope (you can't go back and develop a new FIRST impression.. duh). But your opinion of a person can, of course, change over time as you get to know someone more.

I'm struggling, however, with the difference between simply forming an opinion about another individual versus being judgemental (in the negative sense) towards someone. It seems to me that being judgemental entails more of "putting someone in a box," limiting your view of their capabilities, determining what they can or cannot do by their current circumstances or past reputation.... Forming an opinion of someone, on the other hand, has more to do with settling on a description of the person's character and personality based on his or her actions. 

So back to the thing about first impressions. Too many times I've allowed first impressions to negatively shape not only how I view a person but how I interact with them for an extended period of time, perhaps as long as I've known them. Thoughts such as this person didn't grow up the same way I did so of course we'll never be friends have resulted in vacant friendships. In hope of being "guarded" I've ended up acting better than others rather than seeing them as Christ sees them. On the flip side, thoughts like this person is way too cool to ever be friends with me have deterred me from meeting some great people. I've allowed myself to be overly intimidated by my view of others, while calling this "humility," and haven't accepted their friendship. These approaches result in feelings of both pride and worthlessness within myself and towards others.

First impressions certainly have a place and can't really be avoided, but I've come to the point where I realize I cannot put too much weight on them. How much is too much? I have no idea. But I'm confident that by keeping a a balance of an open mind and guardedness, I will meet people and develop friendships that I would have missed out on otherwise. There isn't some magic formula on what that balance is, so I will move forward in caution and courage nonetheless.

Want a friend? Be a friend first.