I'm a huge Queen fan (thanks, Mom!), and I've always liked their song Somebody to Love. Recently, though, I've seen/heard it in a new light...
I have a bit of a confession =) Normally I don't watch TV, let alone watch ridiculous shows... but I have unfortunately watched every episode of this season's bachelorette! Haha! Sadly, I made the mistake of watching the first episode a few weeks ago (or whenever it came out), and I've been hooked ever since. Before I spit out too many negative remarks, I do want to recognize that I can only perceive the cast as the producers present them. I'm sure there are some wonderful individuals among the show's cast, and I don't mean to judge any of them too harshly. However, the way the are presented and the values emphasized in the show tend to rub me the wrong way. I'm sorry if I come across as incredibly rude (and don't think I'm judging you if you watch the show either haha it's certainly entertaining)!
Anyway... all that preface to say I really don't like the show! How it portrays love, the emphasis on appearances, the shallowness of what it values... it's all so empty.
I knew I should have turned it off after episode 1. After watching the young woman meet 25 single men and hearing the cast evaluate each other's appearances time after time after time, I was struck by the narrowness of the criteria (both of the bachelorette and her suitors). Not one cast member failed to mention physical appearance of the others, expect the creeper who wore a black mask for the first week or two (I get what he was trying to do, but I'm not sure if he went about it in an appropriate manner). Ultimately, it seemed to be a fairly superficial first episode, but I just had to watch the next one =).
As the show progressed, I saw the individuals unguardedly begin to "fall for each other" and allow themselves to get swept away solely by emotion. Each individual seemed to be looking for "true love" but ultimately defined love as a warm, fuzzy feeling. I've yet to hear anyone mention respect, commitment, integrity, understanding, or even faithfulness as valuable aspects of a future relationship. They just want to FEEL a connection.
The tricky thing with a feeling, though, is that it will undoubtedly fade or change over time. You cannot base your life on how you feel- it's not fair to you or to others around you. Are feelings important? Yes! Should we be sensitive to them (both of ourselves and of others)? Of course! But let's not let them supersede reality, truth, or wisdom. (I don't really want to get in to the logistics of trusting our feelings or not... it still boggles my brain. I don't believe there is an accurate cookie cutter answer lol but here I go getting super side-tracked again. Thank for your patience)!
Back to the bachelorette... as I watched both group dates and one-on-ones, the depth of the relationships saddened me. It really doesn't seem like the girl is getting to know the true character of her bachelors nor are the men seeing the bachelorette for who she truly is. Even while going through an emotionally exhausting few weeks, the bachelorette shied away from sharing the reality of her pain with anyone else (okay, well, I might instinctively do the same so I'm not trying to judge... at the same time, though, I don't see how you can expect to get to know someone else unless you first become a bit vulnerable yourself). It almost seems like the viewers know the cast better than they know each other! And the bachelorette is really looking for a ring at the end of this brief season? Is she that desperate to find "true love" and "settle down with that special someone"? It kinda seems like she might be rushing things a bit!
As I've watched myself get sucked into this show, I've been challenged to re-evaluate how I define love. Am I really wanting God to bring into my life someone for me to love, or am I simply searching for someone to love me. Until I can honestly answer the first part with a definite yes, I'm not ready to meet that "special someone."I will never be able to find another human who will be able to love me unconditionally exactly for who I am (sheesh I can't even love myself for who I truly am so I could never expect someone else to!), yet part of me is still looking to be loved rather than to love. Deep down, I know that I can confidently rest in the truth that I will always be loved by my Creator... I don't NEED unconditional love from another finite being. I'm loved enough as it is =). Now, I just have to live that out.
Perhaps I will eventually seek to love another as my Lord loves me, knowing only through Christ in me can I show true love. Someday, I just might find somebody to love.
Thanks, K.
ReplyDelete-Karissa