Silence

I often hate silence. Stillness, solitude, empty air. It all bothers me (most of the time). 

I always have music on when I'm driving, I talk out-loud to myself constantly, I make tapping noises just for the sake of filling the silence, and I'm notorious for humming any random tune nearly all the time. 

Why?? Why can't I just sit calmly in silence, soaking up the pleasure of each passing second? Why does there always have to be noise?

Part of it could be fear of boredom. I strongly dislike feeling like I'm wasting time. So for some reason, I must think that by filling the silence, I'm actually doing something with my time. (I see the fallaciousness of this thought process, but my sub-conscience does not....). Or it could be that I start to over-think everything when I'm sitting in silence. My mind often naturally fixates itself on the negatives (fears, what-ifs, worst scenarios...) when it's left on its own. I like the distractions that noises bring. 

But sometimes, I like silence. Or the soft sounds silence reveals. 

The gentle movement of the wind, the buzzing of my computer, a distant car driving by.... beautiful reminders that complete silence doesn't exist. Silence is perceived only when the mind tunes out the rest of the world. Noises don't necessarily stop, but your ears sometimes cease hearing them. "Silence" reminds you sounds always exists.